Each time you think you have nearly finished another task looms in front of you; to pack a first aid kit you end up having to tidy out the entire medicine cupboard; when you find the cups and utensils stored away after the last trip they look like they need to be sterilised before you can use them; collecting together all the documentation seems such a simple affair but ends up with having to produce scanned copies suitable for storage on iPad and email as well as hard copies (printed on magical waterproof paper)!
Ultimately you end up with a long shopping list of trivial items that have to be purchased such as razor blades, shaving foam, safety pins, soap dishes, dish cloths, wet wipes, batteries, non-perishable food, diarrhoea and constipation tablets, etc. etc.
On our journey it is likely that at some time the bike will be dropped onto its side when attempting a river crossing or traversing a deep puddle across the track and it is essential that all vulnerable items (books, maps, clothes, electronic items etc.) are stored in waterproof bags and can survive a thorough soaking. One of the ways to keep small items waterproof is to wrap them in a condom and so on my list I had a packet of condoms. Inevitably Savi came with me to do the shopping and when reviewing the list noticed the condom item! However having convinced her of the innocence of the item the story doesn't stop there!
We arrived at the huge ASDA superstore in Owlcoates near Pudsey and I went off on my own to locate all the items I needed and left Savi proceeding with normal domestic shopping. I went downstairs to the pharmacy area and collected together shaving cream, toothpaste, Imodium, bandages etc. and just adjacent to the pharmacy counter there were some packets of condoms. I noticed that they were all packets of just three and feeling that I would need more than this I caught the eye of the pharmacist and pointing to the said condom packets asked the young Asian man whether they had packets that contained more condoms. He instantly confirmed that they also come in packets of 60. This seemed like a large number, and when I looked quizzical and said that I didn't need that many he said it's either the small packets or the two month supply packets. Now my eyebrows shot up and I thought well that's an interesting fact, so this is the norm! I said to him "Are you sure ?" at which time he reached behind him and produced a small box of anti-histamine hay-fever tablets!! I started to laugh, and he didn't know what I was laughing at so I told him I had been enquiring after condoms and not hay-fever tablets.
He then started to laugh seeing the funny side of the two month supply statement that he had made. I think he then realised that he had made the comment to a person who was obviously of a pensionable age, and who having shown surprise at the number had then maybe thought perhaps this is the norm for young people these days!
It was like a scene with Victor Meldrew from "One Foot In The Grave".
I paid for all my goods from the pharmacy dept. and along with just 12 days supply of condoms went off to the main part of the store to find Savi and complete the remaining food items on my list such as cereal bars, tins of tuna, corned beef etc.
Now having eventually collected together all the items on my list we wearily proceeded to the checkout. At the checkout I neatly collected all my items together in one bag whilst regaling Savi with the story of the pharmacist and the condoms and we were so engaged in laughing and joking that we left the bag with all my items behind at the checkout.
Two days later still trying to pack I am stomping around the house asking Savi where she has put all my items from my list that we bought in ASDA. Eventually it dawns on us that there are quite a lot of items missing and it's not that we have mislaid or forgotten one or two items, but that it must be a whole bag of shopping. We contacted ASDA and sure enough they had retrieved the left behind bag of shopping and after we had identified some of the items correctly we were invited to return 'at our leisure' to retrieve our goods.
You'd think this would be simple; turn up at store, identify yourself and walk off with your shopping! Oh no! The shopping had all been returned to the shelves, and a receipt with all the returned items had been printed and stuck into a 'customer returns' book. We then had to go around the store, and remember exactly what items we had bought, or read the bar code number from the receipt to ensure we had exactly the same items as on the printed returns receipt. Well eventually we collected together some 13 items valued at exactly £19:47 and were allowed to leave the store.
Ah the joys of getting old !!
Just two days to go and then we are off, and my confidence to negotiate my way halfway around the world to a place where they don't speak my language has been undaunted by my experience in ASDA !
Geoff Barkess
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Bingley, West Yorkshire
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